Saturday, December 11, 2010

Sex-related myths

7 ways to make sex more exciting

Your guide to better sex

Enticing, thrilling and hot; would you use these words to describe your sex life? If not, then it’s time to take a look at our guide. You’ll soon be enjoying some sumptuous, pillow-biting sex:

Also read:

Go back to school

Awkward teenagers, bells and bad food doesn’t sound romantic but reverting back to a pupil may put the kick back into your sex life. Whether you’ve been with your partner a few weeks, or a few years, there are always new things to learn about what the other wants from sex. Take it in turns to play the role of teacher and pupil. The teacher needs to take control, show the pupil what they want and how to do it. The pupil needs to listen, comply and also remember these frisky moves for later. Make sure you both get a go in each role and on different days.

Have a curry

If you want hot sex then take your date for a curry. A UK study has shown that you don’t even have to eat a curry to raise your heart rate, just thinking of your favourite spicy dish is enough to increase both your heart and your blood pressure to a level similar to one reached during sexual arousal. Spicy food was also found to release endorphins, which provided extra pleasure. After your curry, why not have a chili eating competition. A chemical found in spicy peppers, capsaicin, stimulates nerve endings, which means your sex will feel amazingly good.

Love Yourself

Sex is a hugely intimate act and requires a lot of trust. Considering this, it’s not surprising that many people feel uncomfortable about sex. If you don’t feel confident, don’t worry, there are a few things you can try. You could play a new sport. Sport players have healthier relationships with their body because they value its function, not its aesthetic value. You could also invest in some sexy lingerie that covers areas you feel uncomfortable with. And remember, psychologists have found that people who are considered beautiful are just as likely to be unhappy as anyone else.

Never been touched?

Sex can become a routine; another thing to tick off your list. You do the same moves, the same tired tricks and it all gets a little bit dull. If this sounds familiar, stop. There are lots of new things and new places you can touch. The thighs and knees may not be the most obvious place to begin, but they often get overlooked and yet they are very sensitive spots. Another neglected part of their body is the fingertips. Take their hand and rub their palms, then pull on their fingers. Touching each other in new ways is simple, exciting and fun.

Play a game

If foreplay has become a timed race to see who can turn off the lights, pull off their clothes and reach the safety of the covers first then it is definitely time you learnt how to slow down. Take a pack of cards and play a game you both know well. The loser must remove one item of clothing. Once you have both stripped off, continue the game, but this time the winner can choose an act they’d like the loser to perform on them. Keep a timer close by, so the game progresses. Playing this game will not only allow you to enjoy each other it will also build sexual tension.

Go alfresco

Doing bad things we shouldn’t do is a turn on. Everyone enjoys it, but only the daredevils seem to give it a go. A fun and safe way that would allow you to take your loving outdoors is to find a compromise. You could have sex in the secrecy of your garden, or your balcony if it is secluded. Make sure both of you are comfortable and take necessary accessories, such as a blanket or pillow. Having sex outdoors will give you huge adrenalin surges, which not only make you feel great, you’ll also perform better than normal. Be safe though; if you get caught expect trouble.

Reinvent yourself

You’re a brother, you’re a sister, you’re a wife, husband, dad or mum. When you get under the covers though, it’s important to forget who you are during the day. Adopting another persona in bed helps you de-stress and become sexy. There are lots of tools or accessories you can use to help you make the transition. You could wear a costume, a wig or even some exotic make-up. Play with different looks until you feel comfortable. Dressing up will give you a confidence boost, make your sex fresher and enable you to try new things with ease.


Top 10 sex myths

Sex; it’s one of the most thought about subjects, but how much do we really know? Our knowledge of sex is often confused by rumours, misconceptions and outright lies. So, dust off your magnifying glass, pull out your probes and apply your long, investigative, latex gloves – it’s myth busting time:

A woman can’t get pregnant when it’s her first time

The notion that a woman cannot get pregnant the first time she has sex is still a commonly held belief. In Turkey 25 per cent of young people thought this was true. However, the truth of the matter is that without reliable contraception, pregnancy is possible, whether it is the woman’s first time or her fiftieth time.

I can’t darling, I’ve got a headache

Have you ever used the old headache excuse, or been denied some loving action because of one? Well, we have a cure for her sore head because sex has medicinal properties. When women have sex, endormorphins are released into her body, which in turn relieves pain. Therefore getting under the covers should help ease a woman’s headache.

Men always want it

Although many men in their late teens and early twenties want a lot of it, men do not always want to have sex. Lots of things affect people’s sex drives; stress being one of the biggest culprits. If you don’t feel like it, there’s nothing wrong with you. On average Briton’s have sex six to seven times per month, whilst American’s on average have sex twice a week.

If you masturbate you run out of semen

This is not true. The amount of semen a man ejaculates varies, being between half a teaspoon and a whole teaspoon of fluid. This equates to 40-500 million sperm. Men who ejaculate a lot in one day may notice that the volume of semen decreases, but there is no risk of you running out of semen, you will simply produce more.

Older people don’t do it

Talking about old people getting frisky can embarrass some people; but let’s face it everyone likes sex, even the granddads and grandmas. Many people think that after the menopause women lose interest in sex, but this is not always true. Many older people enjoy an active sex life beyond the menopause and it has lots of health benefits too.

It’s good to lose your virginity when you are young

Although people are having sex younger, many regret it. The average age to lose your virginity is 16 in the UK. It was 21 in the 1950s. Sixty-three percent of sexually active adolescents wished they had waited longer and eighty-nine percent of those surveyed would advise their own brother, sister or friend not to have sex until at least after finishing secondary school.

Thin condoms break

If a condom is your preferred method of contraception, which type do you choose? There are a lot of condoms on the market: ribbed ones, sleek fitting ones, the thin, the thick and the pina colada flavored. Whichever you use, you don’t have to worry about the thickness because Durex reassures us that the thickness of the condom doesn’t necessarily correspond to safety.

We’re all porn stars

Watching two of Hollywood’s finest stars perform a hot love scene is great for getting you in the mood, but it should not be used as a sex guide. Real people do not come every time and last for three hours. Studies show that 75 per cent of men orgasm two to three minutes after penetration and an estimated 30 per cent of women can only achieve orgasm through masturbation.

Men cheat more than women

When you hear that a couple have split up because of an affair it is easy to assume it was the man’s fault, but recent studies suggest that women are much better at keeping their affairs secret. According to Dr David Holmes between eight and 15 per cent of children haven't been fathered by the man who thinks he's the biological parent.

Women don’t ejaculate

Not all women ejaculate, but some do. If you have seen women ejaculate during pornography this is not an accurate depiction. In reality, women ejaculate a small amount of fluid, which is a mixture of urine and a liquid from the G-spot (the female equivalent to a prostate). However, most women do not experience ejaculation, so if you don’t, there’s no need to worry.



Best time to have sex

Making love at 7:30 am is apparently one of the best ways, which can make your day healthy, a new study has revealed.

At 7:30 am, the body produces a surge in sex hormones and a rush of adrenalin to get a person going in the morning.

"You'll both be rested, with heightened senses. As you're still waking up, you tend to be more responsive," the Sun quoted sex therapist Suzie Hayman as saying.

Research in Italy revealed that it is also the time most couples are likely to orgasm and conceive. (ANI)



Top 9 sex-related myths busted

Washington, Dec 10 (ANI): Do you know everything about sex? Think again for the more someone claims to know, the less they generally do know.

Alicia Stanton, a board-certified OB/GYN and the author of 'Hormone Harmony,' who specializes in treating men and women suffering hormone imbalances, has listed top nine sex-related myths and what the real scoop is about sex, desire, and making it all work, reports the Fox News.

Myth: Interest in sex decreases with menopause.

Reality: Many women maintain hormonal balance and interest in sex through menopause. And, pregnancy and menstruation are no longer a concern, spontaneity can reign. Also, they are typically more confident and knowledgeable about what they want, so sex has the potential to be better than ever.

Myth: The only hormone important for libido is testosterone.

Reality: Although testosterone is very important for libido and sexual function in men and women, other hormones play a part as well. Estrogen is actually very important for desire in both men and women. Also, a high level of cortisol, our "fight or flight hormone," works against libido. If your body thinks that you're running for your life, literally or figuratively, it is not going to be very interested in sex.

Myth: If you're truly in love, desire for sex and high libido should come easily.

Reality: Relationships and making a real connection with someone takes time and energy. Relationships require as much attention as anything about which you are passionate. Focus on keeping your partner and his or her interests high on your priority list and you will find yourself discovering new ways to connect and keep the passion alive.

Myth: If you're healthy, you should want sex all of the time.

Reality: A wide variety in sexual appetite or level of libido exists. The way you know if you're having the "right" amount of sex is if you and your partner are both happy with your level of activity. There's no need to compare yourself to others.

Myth: If you're connected with your partner, you shouldn't have to ask for what you need.

Reality: Even if you and your partner haven't previously spoken much about your sexual relationship, it might be good to start talking. This is especially true if you're entering a new phase of life, including childbirth, menopause, or andropause, often called male menopause. If you begin to notice changes in your body or sexual desire, be sure to let your partner know what's going on. And, remember, communicating about what feels good enhances the experience for both of you.

Myth: Your most important sex organs are "south of the border."

Reality: Although those places are lots of fun, remember that your brain is the biggest sex organ in your body. You always have the ability to choose how you feel and think about sex and your sexuality. The desirability a man or woman feels about himself or herself is a very potent aphrodisiac. If you feel irresistible, your partner will find you irresistible. Passion is contagious!

Myth: If you don't have a partner, there is no sense in having a libido.

Reality: Having a loving relationship with yourself is essential. Even if you don't currently have a partner, feeling sensual and desirable will add passion to many aspects of your life. It takes practice to learn what arouses you and what a potential partner finds arousing. Learning to pleasure yourself is an important skill that you can continue to enjoy on your own, or that you can teach to a partner one day.

Myth: Women are the only ones who have problems with low libido.

Reality: Although the sexual desire disorder known as low libido is more common in women, it occurs in men as well. Some physical causes include alcohol, various medications, stress, hormone imbalances (such as low testosterone), cocaine use, brain tumors that produce the hormone prolactin, diabetes, and other major diseases such as cancer.

Myth: Hormonal issues are the only cause of low libido in women.

Reality: There are hormone imbalances such as low estrogen, low testosterone, hypothyroidism, and high cortisol from stress, but there are many other potential causes as well. Physical problems such as vulvar or vaginal pain or dryness may cause an increase in frustration and reduced libido. Surgery or other major health conditions like cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure or arthritis can also reduce libido.

Also, relationship issues, psychological issues (including depression), alcohol, tobacco use, and weight issues may also contribute to low libido. (ANI)


  1. 4 Tips on Jump-Starting Your Sex Life in the sheets

    Has your sex life gone to sleep? No matter what the old wive’s tales say about it, there’s no reason not to have sex in long-term relationships. Sex not only will keep your love energized, it’s also fun exercise, a great stress-reliever, and aerobic: it raises your heart rate and your respiration -- and you don't even notice you're working hard.

    Here’s how to make it easy and fun:

    1. Relax.

    Relaxing allows you to be more aware of your sexual energy, enhances sexual feelings, and frees you up to respond sexually. Allow time for morning sex when you are still relaxed from sleep, or after a nap.

    2. Lighten Up

    Because of media influence, most couples have an exaggerated, stressful image of sex. To have more fun, focus on having fun, instead of meeting a goal. Some sex encounters go well, some don't, so have a sense of humor. Spend more time giggling, talking and being silly and less time under pressure. A lighter attitude makes sex more fun.

    3. Communicate

    The best beginning for a lovely sexual encounter is a good, honest and open conversation. When you were new lovers, you talked and sex was easy. Frequently make time to "catch up" with each other over an unhurried dinner or breakfast. Express your hopes and dreams, clear the air, and you can both relax. From there, it's not such a long distance into the bedroom.

    4. Be Flexible

    Physical agility can be helpful, but emotional flexibility will really improve your sex life. The longer you and your partner are together, the more you need options. Here’s a menu:

    *Quickies: brief sexual encounters that are great fun when you're pressed for time. Morning heavy petting can make the whole day more exciting.

    *Sneaky Sex: Whispery sex behind locked doors while the children (or grandchildren) are watching TV is great fun, or sneak lovemaking in your childhood bedroom while visiting your parents.

    * Romantic Sex: Pull out all the stops: candlelight, dinner, dancing, dressing up, perhaps a lovely hotel room, or a romantic dinner for two at home. It's great for celebrations, or anytime you need a boost.

    * Newlywed Sex: Recreate your first married days: the time you met your husband at the door wearing only a negligee, surprise flowers, or silly, wildly in love things you said then.

    * Make-up Sex: After an argument or a struggle, lovemaking can be extra tender and memorable.

    * Comforting Sex: When one of you is sad or stressed, the other can be especially tender and soothing.

    * Relaxing Sex: Laze around, have breakfast in bed, and make love for as long as you want; no pressure, no hurry and no demands on each other.

    * Reassuring Sex: Tender affection reassures a partner who is temporarily insecure, and reaffirms your mutual love and commitment. Declare your love and remember how important it is.

    * Fantasy Sex: Act out all the silly, forbidden or exciting fantasies: Nurse and patient (or doctor), children "playing house", famous movie star and adoring fan, or your two favorite characters from a soap opera, novel or movie. If you feel a little silly, laughter will only make it more fun.

    MOB.: 09377702264

  2. i m a married woman now, but yes sex is one of the gr8 thing that u can do with ur partner. BUT it is not the last and the ultimate one that is to be done. there are other wonderful things that can please u n ur partner if at all both of u know and understand each other. to perform best in the bed, one has make the mood from morning but not like a foreplay. some teasings, or lighten the mood. do not emphasis on sex part at all. then only it is the wonderfull part. OR else it can be a nightmare too for some of the above despo peoples. God help them.
    ............... Reema

  3. do we have made sex necessary for life ???having food ,drinking water...that it also distroys relation between men and women...earlier days if person was not satisfied with it then too relations worked but today relation are getting breaked ....

    I know it is necessary but it is part of life but not our life


    i would like to remind you 1 thing friend that a coin has 2 sides-------------in the same way sex also has its advantages & disadvantages .it depends upon a particular person how he/she feels about it.from my point of view ,i'll say that its necessary 4 the survival of living things but on the other hand its .....RIDICULOUS....4 a person to have sex because its his/her passion or liking.that is why......... I SAID IT HAS 2 SIDES.

  4. Hi guys i am a doctor by profession ... I appreciate d work of the author in busting out the myths of sex... I agree with her in all d aspects.. havin sex with one faithful partner is vry healthy for people.. do u know sex demands so much of calories... so u vl b shedding all those extra calories.. even its a very gud cardio exercise.. our heart rate increases to its peak while havin sex... its similar to doin a cardio workout.. n i humbly request all those people who hate doctors to kindly stop hurting doctors.. Remembr v hav @#$% to this profession with so much of passion to serve people n allieviate ther sufferings... Patel

  5. Its good to uncover such realities.
    Sexual desire is part of life. Its good nowadays peoples are matured enough to b outspoken.
    The Topic of sexual art is interesting & thanks for the knowledge shared.
    U & i are because of sex.
    Thats the biggest Reality

  6. Hi, this is wonderful bit of news.Thanks, yes Sex is a wonderful thing if done by two normal human beings and in a humane way with deep love and respect for each other it should be an act involving physically, emotionally and spiritually ( mind body and soul ) only then it is satisfying.An animalistic method( Pron stuff ) is just maniacism.That is why sex is held in high esteem in the vedas ,in sanskrit the two organs for the act is called BHAGWAN ( Bhag and Wan )

  7. Try yoga and mystic tantra, all the illusions and hyprocity about sex will vanish.Divert your sexual energies towards breathing exercises,bhakti ,yoga, bipasana,
    and fell the difference...........

  8. Have sex stay fit : Sex may seem like the safest sport you can take up. It de-stresses you, keeps you rejuvenated, elevates your moods and stretchs, tones and exercises your body muscles.

    Expert opinion : Dr Ishi Khosla, clinical nutritionist, Director Whole Foods asserts, "Sexual acts certainly lead to a normal mental well-being and a healthy state of mind. This in turn creates a physically fit body. If there's an ill-health or manifestation of any problem, it would reflect on your outer body."

    Dr Samir Parikh adds, "You would still need a balanced lifestyle, which means that if you compare two equals in terms of lifestyle age and other factors as a constant, then it's possible that a sexually active person feels better."

    Sex burns extra calories : It is indeed a form of exercise and naturally burns one's calories too.

    Expert Opinion : Dr Geetu Amarnani, wellness expert at Kolmet Hospital, opines, "While having sex, the BMP (basic metabolic rate) increases and that ultimately helps in burning the calories, so it's widely believed that one can shed that extra flab through sexual encounters."

    Sex for glowing skin and hair : When women make love they produce the hormone oestrogen which makes their hair shine and their skin smooth.

    Expert Opinion : Make-up expert Sylvie, also an expert on sexual issues asserts, "As sex helps releasing the extra level of frustration and stress on one's mind and body, so logically it leads to a glow on your face and your skin texture looks better too. Also, hormones in our body are activated at a faster rate than usual during sex, which helps in better blood circulation, adding that extra shine to one's skin and hair."

    Sex brings relief from headaches, reduces depression and tranquilises your mind : A satisfying love-making session releases tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. It brings you out of a depressed state of mind and acts as a tranquilliser.

    Expert Opinion : Dr Sanjay Chugh, "The pleasure that is derived from a satisfying sexual act tends to relax one's mind, taking away headache. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. Good sex leaves the person feeling relaxed and satisfied thus acting like a tranquiliser."

    A kiss to keep dental problems at bay : It is medically accepted that a kiss encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay. It also prevents the build-up of plaque.

    Expert Opinion : Dental expert, Dr. Vandana Jyoti opines, "Anything that increases salivation will help in bringing down the acid level, which causes damage to one's teeth. It also prevents cavity. Other than a kiss, chewing gum and more of lemon intake also tend to act in the same manner. But one has to be extra careful, as it might act the other way round, in terms of spreading germs, if either of the two persons involved in a kiss is suffering from a tooth infection.